Sunday, January 22, 2006

What Will You Be Doing When You Are 100 Years Old? (pt. 2)

by Mrs. Coats' second grade class

Megan

I will be 100 years old in 2094. I will have brown hair and hazel eyes. I will have wrinkles. I will live in Arizona. I will be married. I will ride horses. I will write good. I won't be squiggly. For exercise I will swim. I will be married to a millionaire. I will be tall and rich. I will not like to be old.

Cristy

When I am 100 years old, I am going to have grandchildren. I am going to be married. I am going to have gray hair. I will be in Hawaii. I am going to have a husband named PeeWee Herman. I am going to have hair. I am not going to be rich.

Devlin

When I am 100 years old, I will not like being old. The only thing I will like is having grandchildren. I want to be a fisherman or a deer hunter. I will look like a raisin. I will look yummy. I will live in Green Bay. I am not going to be married.

Austin

When I am 100 years old I will be married to Minnie Mouse. I will have blue hair. I will live on Jupiter. My house will look like a TV. I will have a pet elephant. My neighbor will be an alien and I will make pencils. It will be groovy!

Saturday, January 21, 2006

What Will You Be Doing When You Are 100 Years Old? (pt. 1)

by Mrs. Coats' second grade class

Stepheni

When I am 100 years old, I will live in an old house. I will be married to a boy. I will have a job in a restaurant. I will have blond hair. I will go to outer space to see the moon. It will be fun to ride in a rocket to see Pluto. I will have to go to the dentist to see if I have any cavities.

Michael

When I am 100 years old, I will marry Tashina. I will have 8 children. I will be a semi- driver. I will live in Florida. I think I will live to be 150 years old. Then I will die. But I will be in heaven. Then I will be watching over you guys.

Kelly

When I am 100 years old, I will have twelve kids. I will be married to a millionaire. I will have 2 pets. I will be in Australia or Hawaii. My husband might have a cane. I will be retired. I will have 2 grandchildren. I will be rich. My skin will be tan. My hair will be blond. I will have a big house. I will go on trips. I will have an airplane and a jet. I will be a teacher or an author. I will go around the whole world but not Pakistan or Afghanistan. I will have 2 big screen TV's. I will have lots of books to read. I will not have gray hair. I will go to parties. I maybe will have glasses. I will like to be 100 but I will not like to be 100.

Alex

When I am 100 years old, I will not be married. I will have gray hair. I will never, never, never go on a date. I will go to Mars, so no girls will find me. If they do find me, a meteor will blow them up.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Retaliation Power

by Jonathan

TLet me tell you a secret you must promise to keep.One day Leopard and Gazelle were playing around in the field. They came across many bones of dead sheep. Gazelle was going to tell his parents.

Leopard said,"Let me tell you a secret you must promise to keep. If you don't keep the promise, it will be the end of our friendship. "

Gazelle promised that he would not tell his parent this secret. Gazelle told his parents, and then Gazelle's parents phoned Leopard's parents. Leopard was grounded that week. Leopard was so angry he ate his best friend. From that day on Gazelle broke a secret in Leopard's stomach.

Moral
(Don't break secrets)
* There are some cases where you have to break secrets.


Note: I know this last batch of stories have seemed kind of extreme, but I promise they're genuine. The kids are Canadian, if that clears anything up.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

The Chicken and the Rooster

by Patrick L.

One day, the Rooster's friends started teasing Rooster because he didn't have a girlfriend, so... Rooster found a chicken and nervously asked,” Will... will you be my girlfriend?"

She furiously replied," Umm... no." Then she walked away and told all her friends. They quickly responded with pointing and laughing at Rooster.

Rooster sadly walked away, and then, out of nowhere, Cow popped up and asked him,” Will you play with me?"

"NO!" Rooster yelled angrily at Cow.

Will... will you be my girlfriend?"Please," Cow said in his most annoying voice.

"Go Away!" Rooster again yelled at Cow.

"Pretty, pretty please with a cherry on top," Cow said annoyingly again.

"Fine," Rooster yelled again at Cow," but only if you stop annoying me."

Right then and there, using Cow's example, Rooster thought of a plan to get Chicken to date him and quickly went home to get ready for the next day. Rooster woke up, got dressed, and put on his dad's best cologne, and started to school. When he arrived, Chicken was alone.

"Perfect time to strike," Rooster murmured to himself.

"So Chicken. I know that you love me and I know that you want to go out with me. I also know that you don't know that, yet but I will give you another chance. Chicken, will you go out with me?"

"I told you yesterday. I don't want to go out with you," Chicken said to Rooster.

"Pretty please?" Rooster said to Chicken in his most annoying voice.

"Don't make me embarrass you again."

Chicken then said it in a voice that makes everyone be sympathetic for you. Better yet, he was doing the puppy face at the same time, and said with his last breath, "Pretty, pretty please with a cherry on top of chocolate ice cream?"


"Fine. As long as you stop annoying me!" She said unhappily.

The Moral of the Story is:
Only Roosters can annoy someone into dating with them.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

It Doesn't Matter

by Evan A.

One day, four mice were walking along the prairie. The mice were so busy looking at the sky, which looked depressing and grey, that they failed to notice the large and completely noticible hole in front of them. Suddenly, all four mice fell screaming into the dark, dry hole. All but one of the mice started to panic. One mouse went insane and started running around the hole screaming,''Hee hee hee'' over and over again.

One mouse started to scream for help until he lost his voice. One mouse tried to climb out of the hole, but it was too hard and too deep, so the mouse fell and broke his leg. But one mouse remained calm, and when the grey sky began pouring a flood of rain, all the mice floated out. Today, the insane mouse is in therapy, the mouse that broke his leg is on crutches, the mouse that lost his voice still can't talk, and the mouse that remained calm got hit by a gasoline truck two minutes after he got out of the hole.

Moral: It pays to be calm, but it doesn't matter if you're a mouse.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Mouse and Mongoose

by Jordan

A mongoose named RickLong ago Freddy the mouse went to school for the first time, but since he was the only mouse; he made friends with a Mongoose named Rick. After school, Robert, Cedric and Blaine, the weasels, tied up Rick and left him behind. Freddy came along and saw that Rick was in need of help so he chewed him free of the ropes that held him down.

“Thanks, that was a close call,” said Rick, “I could have been left there all night!”

Eventually Freddy and Rick became such good friends that they would have each other over every Friday.

A fatal error
One day, when Freddy’s family was getting ready for dinner, an evil cobra named Osama Binladin snuck into his house to eat Freddy and his family. Meanwhile Rick’s dad was walking Rick to Freddy’s house, and when they got there Rick’s dad came in and saved the day. Freddy’s mom called the Rodent Canadian Mounted Police.

There was a party because the notorious Osama Binladin was gone. At the party the weasels wanted to go for a canoe ride. When they got far out, Blaine stood up, which proved to be a fatal error because the canoe tipped and the Weasels were never seen again.

Moral: don’t stand up in a canoe.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Sorry for the wait, folks

Sorry for the lack of new content for a few weeks. I've been at home for Christmas vacation and all the tinsel and figgy puddings just distracted me too much. I'm also working on a complete redesign of snoozejersey.com - and when that's complete, this blog will move over to become a feature of that site. I'll have stories soon.

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